Zax and Haec's dungeon

Post random stuff in here, as you can guess by the title, me and Haec will be spending alot of time here posting absolute nonsense and very adult-themed ... things. Feel free to join in, the more the merrier! Just remember to bring your own whips and chains.

I could borrow some chains but the whips are quite expensive so I wont lend them out to people

Since you're learning swedish I came up with a few words and sayings you probably wont be able to learn from elsewhere (pls notice the amount of tree-jokes amongst them)

Skogstokig - literally "forestcrazy", meaning "totally insane". Think it comes from when people where funny in their head and moved out to the woods because people got scared of their crazyness. That's why I live near the forest, in case I go nuts

Peppar peppar, ta i trä - "pepper pepper, grab some wood" or something. People who aer superstition says this, for some reason it seems like if you throw pepper on stuff and then grabs something made of wood you wont drag unluck over yourself. I tend to grab my head, for laugh, which leads me to;

Träskalle - "Woodhead", a nice insult for stupid people. Pretty much means the persons head is made out of wood so there's nothing inside. Or, it's filled with sawdust.

There's no working translation for the "he got wood" jokes, but in swedish we have a different one that's almost the same and it's "Stånd". Meaning both hard-on and stall (also state, but it's not very common around here).
Perfect way to use this is during markets and stuff. "Han är vid ståndet" ("he's at the stall/hard-on") or "Jag älskar det här ståndet! ("I love this stall/hard on") and so on. Sounds boring but I find it hilarious.

Also to mention is; "mouse" meaning "mus" which is another word for the girlplace which in english could be "pussy" which also is "cat" which means "katt" in swedish. Altho, "pussy" is still working in swedish. Some "cool" brats likes to speak in svengelska (swenglish) but the proper word would be mus.

hahaha we got a saying like the pepper thing, "Touch wood", you touch wood and it's supposed to stop bad things you said from happening. I tend to just grab my .... stånd. And isn't Swenglish like skåning but worse? We get those kinda people who talk like idiots here too, we call them chavs. They say stuff like "Oi bruv, gonna shank you up like, get my boi's on joo" I feel like slapping them every time they say stuff like that.... A funny example though was a jamaican guy at 1 am coming out of the pub saying "He had the ak47 with the rat-ta-ta!" in a really jamaican accent it was funny.

Naah, skåning is like a scouser, they pretend to speak swedish but you cant hear what they're saying. Svengelska is just a mix between swedish and english. Then we got Stockholmare and Göteborgare, from the two big cities. They talk so silly you just want to blow them into pieces and laugh. Dont see why we should have capital cities with people who cant speak proper swedish? It's like saying Swedens capital city is Berlin!

haha it's like that in London too, they all speak Chav here, makes me want to string them up by their tongues and flay the skin from their body. A funny sub-genre of English is cockney, people from East London (like meeeee ) speak cockney, we have silly rhymes like apples and pears (stairs, dancing bears is another word for it too ) and ace of spades (AIDS ) and ofcourse my favourite... Brutal neck blast. (Breakfast )

My GF is from around east london, she talks all that stuff too and i have no idea what she says

haha I do it sometimes to annoy people. I might talk only in cockney rhyming slang when in a team 2 raid. I'll have to brush up on the more annoying ones!

Im lost already

You better Adam and Eve it.

Lost.. Adam & Eve.. Paradise Lost? Faith Divides Us Death Unites Us

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haha Adam and Eve means believe, "You better believe it". I'll watch / listen to the video when I'm back from work. How was your day anyway? Did you have fun at the raid yesterday? Oooh and did they try your tactic? (The proper tactic? )

My day? Well.. I havent slept more then like 15 minutes since yesterday. And my mum woke me up (people always call me when I finally decide to sleep, why?) and was asking me how old I get this year, then tried to make me remind her of when my birthday is. I said I'll be 25 and my birthday is at the end of november. Then she said "Thanks Ann-Charlotte" which is my sisters name I guess it's time to worry when your parents dont remember you at all, but hey.. At least I have the power of time! If I ever miss being teenagre I could just tell them Im 18 and they would believe me.

Got Raggy down to 40%ish once, only tried twice then I cba to bother about fighting for 2man heal it. Altho, I do enjoy how Xar pointed out that "if people keep wiping because of adds I'll suggest that you go dps". Thanks Xar for stealing my idea <3

haha Xar loves to point out the obvious. "We're switching sides" on Atramedes when we switched 10 secs ago... And aww... If it makes you feel any better, my parents forget my sisters age all the time, just a younger sibling thing I think. "You're 16, right?" "Mum I've been 17 for half a year!" "Ooooh, right. Sorry, it's not very important to me. Unlike Angus's age." (she doesn't really say the sorry bit ) Oh ya, I'll be home soon. Wanna do some dungeons?

Trying to get some pvp achievements Been running around with Len all morning doing stuff, mostly for him but I got a few too

HI

I'm bored.

How are you feeling?

Are you awake yet?

If you've been awake for a while, how was your day so far?

Did you lick a unicorn?

Did you dream about licking a unicorn?

Did you lick a tigers leg?

Do you want to lick a tigers leg?

That is all, for now.

HEY (I can use caps too!)

I'm tired.

Feeling good, went to bed at 5 and woke up at 5. Nice timing, right?

obviously not since Im writing here

I had a dream about something but cant remember what, otherwise Im about to make breakfast and I have watched 16 and pregnant (yes again! what's wrong with me?) and just started on my first coke for the day

Im not licking any unicorns atm, but I am chewing on my cokebottle. Plastic is yummy

Think it was more about licking clouds tbh, but they're both fluffy so I guess it could be same thing

Did the tiger leg belong to a tiger or had it run off?

Not really into the fur-thingie, but if we shave the leg I could lick it. Dont want to cough hairballs.


Have any random girls touched you yet today?

Why dont you bring yout toothbrush to work?

If you would, would you use a leash on it?

Ever felt this huge need of screaming when you're at the library?

What did you have for dinner?

You want to skinny dipping in a fountain?

If I moved everything that's to your left, to your right, and everything in front of you to a desk behind you, would you be confused?

If aliens came to capture your unicorn, what stuff do you have nearby to fight them off with?

I have had several touch me, it creeps me out.

I don't bring my toothbrush because I use it in the morning so it would be wet, I don't want my paper in my bag getting wet (it's filled with boring forms )

Use a leash on my toothbrush? I don't think there's 1 small enough... Otherwise, yes. I'd name it Haec too

Yeah, I've shouted in a library many times too

I haven't had dinner yet, gonna eat it soon. I'll have chicken though, woo!

Yeah I'd go skinny dipping in a fountain (if it's big enough) but only if you join me

Well if it's moved from the left to the right and everything in front of me is at the desk behind me, everything would still be to my left because I'd be facing the other way, since everything to my left is also infront of me. So I wouldn't be that confused, I'd just wonder what twat moved my stuff to the desk behind me.

MY LIGHTSABER! THEY AIN'T GETTING MY UNICORN!!!

Hope these answers appease you I'll have more questions for you tomorrow.

Made me giggle, then I accidently bit my lip but when I wasnt sad anymore I giggled a little more Have I sent you the list over like 200 random questions and let you fill them out? otherwise I should, it some quite interesting ones. The silliest are ones I have made up, but I guess you knew that already.

Anyway, I want to watch a movie. Recommend one!

hehe

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Yeah you sent me like 2 of those question things. Some of the questions were very obviously made up by you, some were a little... Too clever. (hehehe sorry) and ooh, failbook. I think unfriendable is better, if I find some good ones I'll link them to you. And if you bit your lip, wouldn't that make you more excited than sad?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] (trolololol)
ahaha these are brilliant! Also, when you're awake:

How many times a day do you stare at the ceiling?

How many times a day do you think about cheese?

If you were a turnip, would you lick yourself alot?

If a carrot were to ask you what flavour of ice cream is the moon, how would you respond?

That's all for now. Ohhh yeah and,

HI! How are you?
Also, UNICORN! [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I rarely stare at the ceiling, Im more of a wall or window-person. Or maybe hands. I often stare at my hands too.

Like once a month, when I go to shop and Im like "mmm, cheese sandwich" but I never buy it because cheese is kinda expensive and I just chew on it a few times and then I forget I have it

Dont think tulips have tongues, but if I was one and I had a tongue I would probably try lick myself since it would taste flower and honey, and what honestly tastes better then flower and honey?

That the moon is just a piece of paper I glued up after eating it (chocolat flavour, mmm) and then wonder why my food is talking to me

Heeey, I just woke up! Or well, I have been awake twice because my neighbours ben humping. How can they seriously do it so many times? I bet he does her from behind-behind, she's like crying and squeeking and being like "it hurts it hurts its hurts Im coming!" I want to scream back "Im coming up there to rip your genders off if you guys wont let me sleep all day!" but Im such a lovely innocent and sweet character, I wouldnt do that...

Airplane or flying submarine?

Would you rather be a moose or a giraffe?

If the sun fell down near your house, how would you get it up again?

If impossible is impossible why is it possibe if possible is not impossible?

How would your pokemon team look like if team rocket came to conguer our world?

What would you do if you woke up one day and realised you were too awesome for the world?

Dont think tulips have tongues, but if I was one and I had a tongue I would probably try lick myself since it would taste flower and honey, and what honestly tastes better then flower and honey?

hahaha I said turnip not tulip, you fail.

Also, I didn't know paper was chocolate flavour... But I also didn't know carrots talk to people, normally. You're weeeeiiiirrrrd.

Maybe they're using viagra... Replace it with laxatives, then they'll be too busy in the toilet to have bum-fun. Unless they're into that kinda dirty stuff....

Flying submarine, duhh.

Probably moose, because I'm already abnormally tall haha.

I would wait until it came up again... I think the sun 'falling down' is called a sunset. Not too sure though, I never listened in school.

Impossible is not possible because there are always factors you can't control and very low chances that a airplane will fall on the person about to shoot you, or the sun shines in their eyes at the exact moment they do, etc. (as an example, someone trieing to shoot you and you got nothing to stop them). Nothing is impossible is true because of that, however low the actual odds are of things happening.

I'd have a charizard (ofcourse ), Tyranitar, Gyarados, Scizor, Flygon, Dragonite. I'd kinda be the dragon master, with Scizor covering my weaknesses. And we'd totally kick team rockets arse, backwards forwards and sideways, 'till they blast off.

I wake up every day and realise I'm far too awesome for the world to contain me... I just have to pretend I'm less awesome, if I didn't, I knew the world would explode. I do it for everyones sake, aren't I kind?

Also, more funny pictures
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I like the pink
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Would be me if I was batman.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I laughed when I imagined you dancing to this.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Best. Stop sign... ever.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Blondes will always be blonde, I suppose...
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] If I ever have a child, this shall be it's bib.

Oi! Your language suck Im trying to find a translation for "Maktingivande" but there's none. It's like.. A person that looks kinda dominant and you automatically respect him/her, even tho you might not know the person. Any thoughts?